Whether it’s for you and your partner or your wedding guests, I’ll share ways to prepare for a neurodivergent friendly wedding whilst also staying true to the vibe and vision of your wedding day dreams.
Never forget it’s your wedding so make sure you do the best for you first then everyone else. Whatever you pre plan or put into place do know that those that don’t need it won’t see it and those that do will be grateful.
So here are suggestions that can make everyone feel welcome and ease a lot of tension and anxiety before the day even arrives.
Tips for you and your partner.
Go small. If the thought of a large full scale wedding is too much for you and your partner think smaller – maybe a small registry office ceremony then out to dinner.
Celebrant. Choose a celebrant over registrar’s – celebrants have one wedding a day whereas a registrar could be rushing off to another wedding after yours.
Walking down the aisle. Feeling anxious about walking into a room full of people looking at you can be intense. Consider an early reveal where you meet together just the two of you (and a photographer maybe) before the ceremony and then walk down the aisle together.
Clothing choices. Consider fabrics that are sensory friendly, no tags – remove those blighters. Stretch or not tight waistbands, comfy undies – snag have amazing undies.Talk to me about your touch sensitivities in your appointment.
Wedding Suppliers. Look for suppliers that are neurodivergent aware, look for inclusivity statements on their websites, social media posts that talk about how they support ND folk.
Rehearsal. Choose to have a wedding rehearsal so you can finalise everything and iron out any issues in advance.A great way to put your mind at ease and to invite any Neurodivergent guests that you think will benefit.
Speeches. If you dread this either get professional help to write the speech or ditch it all together. Pass this task on to a maid of honour or best man or family member. Do make sure they don’t take too long, people get hungry and the chef won’t be too keen either if food service is delayed by a very vibrant, long winded speech.
Outdoor Wedding. Consider a wedding outdoors rather than inside – this can often make people feel more at ease and less closed in. Think of a marquee, yurts, beach or woodlands look at the options available to you and your budget.
Napping. If you need a nap to reboot then include some time in your day to slip away to recharge.
First dance. Feel uncomfortable ? then choose to have a group of your family and friends to do the first dance with you. Or scrap it altogether.
Photography/videography. If you hate having your photo taken or really don’t want to spend hours away from your guests taking photos then choose a photographer that really ‘gets you’. Be honest with them from the beginning and describe your wedding day needs, explain your feelings and ask them for their advice to counteract any uncomfortable or unnecessary worries. They are professionals and want the best for you too. They know their craft and will be able to offer suggestions and alternative options. If you get the opportunity to have an engagement shoot or similar then do that, it will make you feel more comfortable in front of the camera.Consider a Wedding Content Creator to capture impromptu non-intrusive memories during your day.
Music. As much as this is important for any event you may want to consider musicians who will be happy to play quieter than normal. If you are having music throughout the wedding, turn it down so people can talk during your food times.
Tips for your guests.
From the very beginning it’s helpful to give everyone as much information as possible, there may be some crossovers between your guests and your needs in the following tips, .
Website. Create a simple website (or find someone to do it for you) with all the day’s details; locations, time table of the day keeping it all in one place. Lots of advance info with regular emails to update any changes as they happen.
RSVP. Add a box on your RSVP for requirements including sensory needs, food preferences. Give your guests the option to decline – this might seem controversial but the fear of saying no can be overwhelming and awkward. Offer them the option to leave early if they need to without
Location. Create a simple reel/video of the venue/s to show what it looks like, how to access, park, drop off areas, what it’s like inside even where the loos are.
Dress Code. Either be very specific so people know what to wear or say no dress code if you are comfortable with that.
Seating Chart. This elevates anxieties as soon as people arrive in the dining area.
Menu. Knowing in advance gives people time to look through, consider options and if necessary prepare their own foods to bring along. This covers intolerances, allergies, veganism, vegetarians, pescatarians etc Consider offering kid size meals to adults who don’t eat larger portions or offer family service where food is on the table to take themselves or a buffet or food vans.
Table centrepieces. Miniature squishies for people to touch and play with during speeches or waiting times.
Cake. Consider having a smaller cake to cut yourselves with individual cakes for the tables for guests to help themselves or have a dessert table for your guests to help themselves.Ask your venue to pre cut the slices if you’d prefer
Sign Out Book. A Sign Out book for people who leave early to write a message without disturbing your dancing or if you are in the middle of photos.
Tips for your venue.
Quiet space. Create a quiet space away from the busy areas, talk to your venue and ask for their options on a space that can be allocated. Somewhere people can go to with no music, soft lighting, possible soft seating, blankets, sensory toys, ear defenders and disposable foam ear plugs, possibly quiet board games or activity books.
Bars. Consider bars well staffed so no long queues.
Accommodation. Try and find a venue with accommodation or at least very close by, so some guests can go to their rooms or retire early if they wish.
Lighting. Ask the venue to adjust the lighting or have fairy lights instead.
Room temperature. Talk to the venue to make sure the temperature suits your needs.
Scents. Check with the venue if they have strong room diffuser, candle or spray scents and ask them to either remove if required.Talk to your florist about the flowers you will have in your bouquet and in the room decor – textures and scents can be triggering.
I hope that you find areas of this blog helpful that will support yours and your wedding guests requirements. Have a totally fabulous spicy wedding.
